Mike Moxcey ©2002

Ballad of Buckwheat Johnson

by Mike Moxcey

April, 1976 (in a fever) Strasburg, Colorado

G / / / | C / Em / |
/ / / / | G / D  / |
G / / / | C / Em / |
/ / / / | G D G  / |

He was born in hyperspace aboard the starship Lust
sailing out to colonize some piece of cosmic dust.
His journey ended tragically and only he survived
but he hadn't any tales to tell 'cause he was only five.

He was saved by scavengers while drifting through the stars.
They worked him and they beat him and they left a lot of scars.
But while sailing 'cross the galaxy they ran into hard luck
so they sold him into slavery just to make a lousy buck.

His new master was a learned man who'd never had a son
so he gave the lad a name which no one had ever done.
He named him after breakfast with which a new day starts
and swore to him he loved him and that they would never part.

G/Am | Bm / Am / | C / D G/Am|
       Bm / Am / | C / D  /  |
       G  / /  / | C / Em /  |
       /  / /  / | C D G  /  |

Buckwheat Jo...hn-son, you never had a home
Buckwheat Jo...hn-son, always doomed to roam
Living in a spaceship and traveling all around
you were born in hyperspace you can't die on the ground.

Buckwheat learned to read and write and astronavigate
but no one here can name a sport that Buckwheat didn't hate.
His mind was quick and accurate; he learned his lessons well,
but living on a planet was to him a living hell.

So he joined the Galactic as a pilot, second-class
and went through boot camp dieting to lower his human mass.
He fought against the Sirians in Parsec Number Five
and though we lost Star Sector Eight, Buckwheat was still alive.

We didn't know this at the time, we'd thought that he was dead.
We knew we'd lost our first Galactic Ace down in the Red.
But rumors travel faster than a hyperspacial boat
and we caught hints of a pirate band called Buckwheat and his Groats.


Buckwheat lived for many a year off traders and their kin
even though his men had left on ships that he'd brought in.
They were not unloyal but had women, kids, and friends
while Buckwheat didn't want his traveling days to ever end.

But he had had some close calls, almost got shot down
and Buckwheat didn't want to spend his last days on the ground
so he returned a hero and a legend in his time
not to have a party but to perpetrate a crime.

A brand-new tele-hyper drive had been invented secretly
that could send a well-built spaceship to another galaxy.
Buckwheat stole the spaceship in a one-man armed attack
and I don't think that Buckwheat is ever coming back.

final chorus

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